I’ve always been very vocal among my friends, at work, and in other social occasions, sometimes to the point where I need to be reminded to stop. However, as soon as I have to put down my thoughts, I become extremely conservative. I obsessively think about every word and often stop writing altogether. I’m always worried about how my writing will be perceived or read in the future. This has been a huge barrier for me and has prevented me from maintaining an active social media presence and sharing my ideas publicly.
When I was younger, I had a blog that helped me connect with individuals I am still friends with today. However, my fear of being judged and some political considerations led me to delete my old blog. Since then, I have tried unsuccessfully at various times to revive the habit of publicly writing. I write for myself quite a lot, with lots of streams of ideas, but I never share them with anyone. This is not helpful, as ideas and thoughts can only grow if they are seen and evaluated by others.
This blog is my latest attempt to write publicly again, and I have a new plan. I want to share my thoughts and thought processes and maintain a personal record of my thoughts, sending messages to my younger self. I have never had a single area of interest or focus; my reading and interests are all over the place, and I know a little about a lot of things. What I post here will reflect that and cover a variety of topics, including tech, AI, crypto, life and reason for living, history, philosophy, and more.
I am also going to experiment with ChatGPT and LLM. I have always struggled to decide whether I should express my ideas in Farsi (my native language) or English. I’m going to solve this problem by switching between them depending on the topic and using ChatGPT to translate. My plan is to post everything in both languages and organize this space in a way that they are linked together.
Another thing that I’ll do differently here is to live by a new motto: “What I say today, I may disagree with tomorrow, and I may not even remember what I wrote the next day.” I hope this will help me to overcome my urge for perfection and fear of being judged in the future. In our current culture, there is a tendency to hurl accusations of hypocrisy and inconsistency at those who express themselves, but I declare my freedom from such criticism right from the start. I often don’t know what I think about a particular subject, so interpret all my statements as questions or explorations.
I genuinely hope I can restart this habit of publicly writing and turn this blog into a regular habit.
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